Monday, November 2, 2009

Interviews

I just got out of a very akward interview.
During the process, I realized that I don't remember the last time I had such a formal interview.

I had an interview about a month ago.
"So you work at Now?
Here's what we do...
When do you want to start?"

Basically the fact that I worked for Now Courier was all they needed to know.

Hired on the spot.


Interview for Now?
Basically I was informed of what the job was.
It's like the HR lady was trying to scare me, and the fact that I didn't run off meant that I was qualified.

FedEx?
There was no interview.
I just subbited an application and showed up for orientation.
And proved I could lift 70lbs.

Sallie Mae?
I said I worked for Citi Cards.
Manager did too.
We chatted for a bit.

Kroger?
Summer of 2007. That was the last formal interview I had. And I don't remember much about it.


Boy was I unprepared.
Not only that, but I didn't actually know what company I was going to be talking to.
I never applied.
They found my resumé on-line and contacted me.

Turns out they want insurance salesman and managers.

I am not a salseman.
It's just not my style.
I have been a manager--back in 2004/5. I managed 2-3 people.



If I'm going to get a better job, I need to learn what stupid questions are being asked.

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
5 years? I'm just trying to make it to Christmas.

"What's your dream career?"
Not selling insurance.
Do you need a translator?

"How competitive are you?"
I'm more of a laid back kinda guy.

(No, those weren't my answers.)



While I'm rambling, let's toss in some interesting interview stories.

First job ever. Cathy's Wok & Grill.
"So you friend Marc?"
"Yes."
"You Mormon?"
"Yes."
"You like Chinese food?"
"No."
"You're hired. Show up tomorrow after 6."

Yes. That's actually how it went.


Years later at Royalty Auto Care:
"So, you're a friend of Tims."
"Yes."
"And you're LDS?"
"Yes."
"Do you know anything about cars?"
"Not really."
And I got the job.


And then this one time I applied to be a banker.

"So what do you think about the phrase 'The customer is always right.'?"
*chuckle* "Well, they're not."
*shocked look*
"Let me explain.
See, in collections, we just assume that the customer is lying to us.
Like the other day, this lady called and I told her that she was 2 months past due.
She told me that she had just gotten back from outer space..."
"Outer space?" *laugh*
"Yes. And while it's possible that she works for NASA, she probably didn't leave the planet.
So I assume that she's lying, but I work with what she gave me.
'So, you've beem out of town. Now that you're back, let's get this account taken care if.'"

For the rest of the interview, the interviewer couldn't stop laughing about outer space.

I need more stories like that one.

Are you hiring?

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