Friday, October 21, 2011

A Year Without* Sugar

This time last year I was coming to grips with a new diagnosis; if I
wasn't careful, I'd be diabetic.

I had just earned my CDL and was out on the road as a
trucker-in-training when it hit me.
Long story short, I hadn't been eating well.
I was taken off of that truck and sent to the company's doctor.

Next thing I know I'm being medically discharged due to "hypoglycemic episodes".

Not sure what was going on with my body, I saw my parents doctor in Dallas.
Diet induced hypoglycemia. Cut out sugar and caffeine.
(He said a lot more than that, but that, like eating healthy foods...)

No sugar?

I'm the guy that lived on Snickers and Dr Pepper during my late night
courier runs.
Which is why my body finally failed me.

But really, no sugar?
More importantly, no Dr Pepper?

I wasn't sure I could do it.

Cut out sugar from my diet cold turkey.

I'll admit that I had some Halloween candy.
But less than 5 pieces.
And not all at once.

I snuck a few Christmas cookies as well.
After they were stale. So not worth it.

But by and large, I've been good.

But this time last year, it was still a scary thought.
I knew that finding Caffeine Free Dr Pepper in Dallas would be easy.
The Dr Pepper offices are in Plano.
I've been there.

But back home in Indiana?
It's hard enough to find regular Dr Pepper.

((I have no idea what the aspartame does to my system, but it doens't
feel like sugar))

Amazingly, when I went to Walmart when I got back home, Caffeine Free
Dr Pepper was on the shelf.

And I drank it, and drank it.

And I started eating sugar-free Jello chocolate pudding.

Recently I've added sugar free maple syrup to my SF mix.

But those are the only three SF products I specially buy.
Anything else I just avoid.

I still have the mind set that "sugar free" on a label means that it's gross.
I feel the same way about "low fat" and "fat free" labels.

At first, Caffeine Free Dr Pepper took the place of anything sweet.

It was MY sweet thing.

If someone else was having a cookie, or ice cream, or lemonade, or
juice; I'd have a Caffeine Free Dr Pepper.
And for the most part, it worked.

Like I said, I slipped a couple of times, but by far the amount of
sugar in my diet has dropped 9?%.

I still eat sugar.
Milk has sugar.
Cereal has sugar. I avoid the SWEET stuff and stick to more "adult"
cereals; but I still read the labels first.
The sweetest thing I eat is jelly. Yeah, I know.

On July 11th, I joined my family in celebrating FREE Slurpee Day at
our local 7-Eleven.
That was a mistake.

I had a 7.11oz Coke Slurpee with a pink straw in it.
That 7.11oz was way, WAY, too much for me.
I could feel the sugar as it made it's way to my brain.
It wasn't an experience I feel like repeating.
If there was ever any doubt in my mind that I needed to avoid sugar,
it was gone now.

I think I've been rambling throughout this whole thing.
And that's okay, it's my blog.

Sugar bad.
Caffeine Free Dr Pepper good.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Work will be 100° colder today

Over the summer, I was working in the Lawn & Garden department at the local Walmart.
I was accustomed to working outside in the heat. Indiana summers are mild compared to summers back home, and so the cool 100°F days were welcome.

And then one day, I was told that I wouldn't be working in my department; I'd be helping out in Frozen Foods.


The first thing I had to do was get stock out of a 0° freezer.

That's right, I was expecting to be working in 100° heat.
I was dressed to work in 100° heat.
And I was standing in a 0° freezer.

I had my family bring my coat.

I ended up catching a cold.

I'm refusing next time. A 100° difference in a work environment is just insane.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Why do we teach kids the color pink?

For some reason, the color pink is considered a basic color.

We learn about it from birth from board books.

But why? What makes it so special.
If you think about it, it's not a basic color.

Red, yellow, and blue are our three primary colors.
They're the building blocks of color. Gotta have 'em.

Every other color is made from these guys.

If we combine two of them, we get secondary colors.
Those would be green, orange, and purple.

If we combine all three, we get brown.

And to round it all out, we add black and white. The presence of all color, and the absence of color.

But pink?

Pink is simply light red.
Red + white.

We don't talk about light blue, or light yellow.

In fact, without consulting a box of crayons, I'm don't know what else to call light blue and light yellow.
But pink isn't light red, it's pink and we all know it.

But why?

Friday, May 27, 2011

HP Veer; size

I am now the proud user of the world's smallest smartphone, the HP Veer.

I'll be using this blog and my twitter account (@roneyii) to talk about this nifty little phone on an on going basis.

First disclaimer: The HP Veer is an AT&T phone and I'm on Sprint.
So most of my usage will be over Wi-Fi.

I don't think you can talk about the Veer without mentioning that it's small. A lot.
And I don't think you can truly comprehend just how small this phone really is without holding it.

And the size is the first thing I'm going to talk about.

A lot of people on various sites and forums have been trying to list the size as a negative.
Or when they do list it as a positive, they claim it's for other people like teenagers and women who have small hands.

Well I'm here to tell ya that I'm a man and I'm just under 30, and the size isn't a problem.

The phone actually fits in my hand better than my Pre.
I've been using a Palm Pre since June 6, 2009, before that I used a Palm Centro, and I had no problem transitioning to the smaller keyboard of the Veer.
I've used all of the webOS devices, and the Veer is probably my favorite keyboard so far.
It has a nice clicky-snappy feel to it.

I can two-thumb type on it with the same skill as my other webOS devices.

Alright, so the keyboard isn't cramped and I say that it's usable.

But what about the screen?
Isn't it small?

Well it's the same size as a Palm Pixi.
So if you've used a Palm Pixi, you've used a Veer as far as the screen goes.

And it just so happens that I have a Verizon Palm Pixi Plus.
The screen on both the Pixi and the Veer is usable.

Would I watch a two-hour movie on it? Probably not.
Can I surf the web and check my e-mail on it? Certainly.

Okay, so lets say that I believe you.
The keyboard works, the screen works.

Why would I want a small phone? Isn't everyone using big phones now?

Yes, big phones seem to be on the rise.
But you don't always need a big phone.

Let's say you're in the market for a tablet.
Like the HP TouchPad for instance.

If you have a 9.7" tablet, do you really need a giant phone?

And if you really do have a Veer and a TouchPad, you can do cool things like touch-to-share.
Just tap your Veer on your TouchPad and all of a sudden the web page you were viewing on your phone is now on your tablet. Size problem solved.

Out and about

So lets say that you're going out.
Where do you normally keep your phone?
Purse? Pocket?

Maybe you have one of those phones that's too big to fit in a pocket so you just hold it all the time.

My Veer fits inside my change pocket. It's that small.
That just freed up my entire left pocket.
How cool is that?

So now we go back to the comments of women wanting a small phone.
Women do tend to have smaller pants pockets than men.
If this thing fits in my change pocket, it'll fit in your pants pocket; regardless of gender.
It'll also fit in your purse, clutch, change purse, or bra.

I can slip this thing in a suit pocket and no one knows its there.
My keys make a bigger impact than this thing does.

That's all for now.
Next time I'm going to talk about power.

Did I mention that it's small?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Dream Job in the 24th Century

The other day on Twitter, @novacharter and @lilcutegirl86 were talking about money in Star Trek.

@lilcutegirl86 wondered why anyone would be a waiter in Ten Forward for free.

It just so happens that being a waiter in Ten Forward on the Enterprise-D is one of my dream jobs.

Let's accept for a moment that there is no monetary compensation for the job as @lilcutegirl suggests.
(We see Starfleet officers use and refer to money lots of times…)

What then would persuade someone to take on this job?

The benefits.

The Enterprise-D is the flagship. The best of the best.
Starfleet officers work really hard to be assigned to that ship.
But first they have to go through four years at Starfleet Academy before being assigned anywhere.

I've decided that you could skip college and go straight to the Enterprise; as a waiter.

As a waiter on a starship, you're a civilian.

You get all of the benefits of the Enterprise with only a fraction of the responsibility.

You get to chat with people of every rank and every department.
You can bring Riker a drink and find out what's going on in the ship; a newly assigned Ensign wouldn't dream of being so bold.

You get to boldly go…

You get access to the holodeck.

When the ship stops off at Risa, you get to say "I'm with the Enterprise".

Your job is pretty easy.
I've been a waiter before. Being a waiter in Ten Forward would be totally different.

You see, people go to Ten Forward not so much for the food, as for the people.
There are replicators all over the ship that will give you food. So most big meals will be eaten in private quarters.
We normally see desserts and drinks being served. No big orders.
(Yes, there is the rare exception)

You don't have to worry about money.
Waiters here in the 21st Century have to worry about people skipping out on their bills. Have to worry about earning tips, and having people stiff them on tips.

If there is no money, there's nothing to worry about.

And dishes? You just recycle them in the replicator. 

Basically your job is to help provide an atmosphere of relaxment and be there when they can't afford Guinan as a guest star.

And you know what? You can probably pick up some skills here and there too.
I mean look how far Wesley got before he entered the Academy.

Friday, April 8, 2011

All My Friends Say... #DrPepper

So there's this country song about this guy who went out drinking with his buddies and had this crazy night, but he doesn't remember any of it because he was drunk.

But his friends fill him in on all of the crazy things that he did.

Well, "all my friends say (yeah, yeah, yeah)" that I was involved in the recent Texas Dr Pepper incident.

This is what I've managed to piece together:

During my time off from my job up here in Indianapolis, I met up with Arthur Thornton and Rich Dunbar in Texas ~1,000 miles away.
While there, I defeated a trucker in honorable combat, and then I fired a disruptor on the body; vaporizing it.
Then the three of us hot-wired the Dr Pepper-filled semi-truck.
Since I don't know how to hot-wire; I'm guessing it was either Arthur or Rich who did that magic.
I really need to remember to vaporize bodies after I take the keys off of them...
Anyway, once the truck was up and running, I would have been the driver as I have my CDL and am fully trained and qualified to operate such a vehicle.

After emptying the precious cargo, we left the trucks behind undamaged (to be re-filled again...).

According to the news article, this happened three times in the last two months.
Five trucks total.

As I've only been employed for about a month, I guess that seems feasible.

I should note that I'm hypoglycemic and only drink Caffeine Free Diet Dr Pepper (and it's really hard to find).
I gave up sugar and caffeine in October.

Apparently my body is craving the sugar and the caffeine that it has been deprived of, and I've been driven to a life of crime. Withdrawal symptoms are never pretty.

Now, after drinking 1/3 of a truckload of Dr Pepper; my system would have overloaded and sent me into a sugar-induced coma. Or a manic spree.

At any rate, I eventually blacked out and lost all memory of the events.

Somehow I managed to make it back home to Indiana.

And then we rinse and repeat.

And as I type this, Google just sent me an e-mail. I think they're accusing me as well.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Opening scene for Star Trek XII - My idea

[Ext. Space]

We open to an empty starfield.
The camera slowly moves to show a object in the distance.
An ancient space ship looms into view.
As the ship approaches, the camera majestically circles and then focuses on the words "SS Botany Bay" emblazoned on the hull as the music begins to swell.

[Int. Botany Bay]

The camera explores the ship showing numerous humans in cryogenic sleep.
Focusing in one of the "pods", we pause on the face of their leader.
The camera slowly pulls out to reveal a plaque labeled "Khan" as the music reaches it's zenith.

[Ext. Botany Bay]

The camera pulls away from the Botany Bay as a D-7 Klingon ship swoops into view.

Disruptor fire screaches out of the D-7 causing the Botany Bay to real.

A few shots later and it's destroyed.

[Int. D-7]

The smooth-headed face of Kor fills the screen as the music reaches its true climax.

Fade to black.

Roll opening credits.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Small Linguistic World

Last week I was contacted by a University in Russia to translate some text into Klingon.

Apparently they are going to give said texts to students without telling them what language it is and see if they can translate it.

Sadly, they sent me the message through LinkedIn and I wasn't notified of the message.

By the time I replied, they had already moved on with the project.

Yesterday (and then again just now), I got a message from a student at a Russian university who was given some text that they recognized as Klingon to translate.

Wow, small world.

They provided me with the image you see above.

It's not the ideal text to use, in my opinion.

After checking with others, it turns out that it's an attempt at a Jabberwocky translation.
(thanks to loghaD for finding it)

So far I've been contacted by two students. We'll see who else needs help.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I am Now a Professional Model

"What's the difference between an amateur and a professional?

A professional gets paid."

I'm not just any model; I'm a Klingon model.

This is how it all went down.

A few Thursdays ago my family and I went to The Children's Museum of Indianapolis (TCM).
After we saw the Barbie exhibit and traveled to Egypt, I commented that TCM needed a Qo'noS exhibit or a Klingon exhibit. Just something with Klingons. "Who do I need to talk to to get some Klingons?"
After all, they have had Star Wars exhibits before.

And then on the 10th (or so) Dalyn opens up Facebook.
The first thing on the page was a post by Starbase Indy (our local Star Trek convention).

URGENT -- Got a call from the Indpls Children's Museum & they are looking for a Klingon. The costume & makeup would need to be dead on but they have an exhibit coming up and they are looking for someone interested in doing publicity stills. If you are interested, call Kim's cell.

A few phone calls and e-mails later and I was scheduled to show up at TCM for a photo shoot with my daughter (you really can't resist a 4yo Klingon).

Around Spring Break, TCM will have a display of sci-fi costumes. They'll be using the pictures of me in their promotions for the exhibit.

In order to meet TCM's requirements for the picture, we had to make a new forehead. And find some dark makeup.

Dalyn outdid herself.
Not only did the ridges compliment my natural forehead lines, but she added brow bones as well.
This is also the first time that I've had eyebrows attached.

We arrived at TCM a tad late with the latex still a bit tacky.
But it was dry in time to be make uped.

Our TCM contact was very happy to see a full head of hair attached to the forehead when we arrived (my own hair is still recovering from trying to join the Army).

I don't know how long the transformation took, but I looked every bit a Klingon warrior when she was done. And per their request every inch of my face and neck had been darkened to a more Klingon-like tone.

I blew everyone away.
Not sure what they had expected, but we met and exceeded those expectations.

The shoot went well. They took several pictures.
I think my neck and head were positioned into every possible angle they could conceive.

And of course they took pictures of Ireland, too.

I'm pretty sure that my face is going to end up on a billboard around town.
And Ireland will end up on their Facebook page.

If you happen to see my image somewhere, tell me.
And if possible, take a picture too.

And tell your friends you know a professional Klingon model.